Life

Sometimes I dont even no what to do with my life. There are so many things that I want to accomplish and I feel like I dont have the support of my own family to get through them. I called my grandma the other day and told her that I was going to start waitressing at Texas Roadhouse and that I was really excited because I think that it would be a lot of fun. She then told me " I cant believe you, you wasted all that money on school not to even finish,  I knew this was going to happen." What she didnt let me say was that it was only going to be a couple nights a week so that I could go to school during the day. I was so mad that I got I made up some excuse to go. In that moment it occured to me clearer than ever that if I am wanting to do something in my life then I am only going to be able to rely on myself and my little family (Wayne and Mason). My family is so judgemental with the exception of a handful, and they by no means have any room to judge. I know that more times than not I get mad and I post about my family and it probably sound like I hate them, but I dont. I love them more than most of them no. I just get aggrivated. I see the family that has so much stability and I get jealous. I see the family that gets together on the holidays and I envy them. I hope that whatever wayne and i do for Mason in his life that he never ever is jealous of anothers family. he is getting so big and I just want my little baby to stay little forever so that he never hurts.